I have a lot of clients ask me for advice in our calls. While I am no Dear Abby, I can tell they want to know what the best next decision is for his/her life. Whether it is about a career move, relationship move, or anything, the questions I hear them really asking me is:
"Do I have permission to be myself?"
"Do I have permission to trust myself?"
"Am I allowed to do what I want?"
The answer is yes.
The answer is always yes.
A request for advice is more of a request for agreement about a next move or phase of life. We as humans CRAVE agreement in our decisions. We want confirmation that we are 'right' by our friends and family...and ourselves. We operate as if we have backing that our decision is a better one and we have more chances of success/survival. It is a natural side effect of the human condition to want our thoughts and feelings justified so that we feel more comfortable doing (or not doing) something.
This way of being tends to diminish our Power, Freedom, and Self-Expression. It keeps us safe. It keeps us limited. It keeps us surviving decisions instead of making powerful choices. The interesting part of life is we are the creators of it. We determine its quality. We are in the front seat at all times but act like someone else's hands are on the wheel. We let folks give us directions, judge our driving, and have us doubting our ability to drive! We become so hyped up and focused on the destination that we forget the journey or that we are the ones driving.
So when I hear a question such as:
"Should I this/that/the other"?
Should I trust my gut?
Should I follow my heart's desires?
Should I listen to my intuition?
"Does a bear dance in the woods!?!?!"
Yes. The answer is yes.
No matter how it turns out, you will definitely find out more about yourself. You will uncover how capable you are. I will explore the idea that you do actually know what's best for you and your life.
Beware of the need for confirmation, approval, justification, and agreement. Not getting it may stop you for going for something you truly want. It may prevent you from venturing outside of your comfort zone! It may keep you small or have you give up on a dream of your own.
Beware of your desire for advice. It may lead you astray from who YOU are and what YOUR heart wants. If you need agreement, get a life coach. I can tell you they won't agree with you but they will ask you enough questions that you agree with yourself. You'll come to know yourself so damn well that you won't need anyone else's clearance to go for your dreams, own yourself, and rock your world!!!!
Beware of Bears dancing in the woods.
They don't care if you're watching.
And they don't need your approval.
My invitation is to get to dancing on your own.
Close your eyes if your scared but start shakin' what cha Momma gave ya!
Live the life you love!
Written by Abigail Gazda
Liver of life and lover of love, Abigail has transformed her passion for education into a full-time career as a blogger, life coach, and public speaker. Author of Giving Up Giving Up: The Memoir of a Quitter, the transformative work she does invites people to live with intentionality and power.